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수줍은 노크!!
나 처럼 많이도 오픈 마인드가 안되는 사람에게 자신이 그대로 까발려지는 이러한 장은 난감 그 자체이다.
어쩜 난 이 작은 공간을 날 시험하는 기회로 생각하는 지도 모른다.그만큼 나에겐 도전이자 객기이다.
나는 홈지기를 어려운 유학시절에 만났다.
배고플 때도,사랑에 실패했을 때도, 외로울 때도 손이 닿는 곳에 있어주었다.
그 견디기 힘들었던 시절에 홈지기는 나에게 엄마와도 같았다.
1995년4월3일, 일본행 비행기를처음타는 날이다.
일상의 것들과의결별을 고하고 한 바탕 이별 파티를 거하게 하고선 아직도 울어서 벌건 눈을 훔치며 비행기에 올라탔다. 그 때까지 난 나에게 그렇게 많은 사건들이 기다리고 있으리라고는 생각지도 못 햇다.
5년이라는 긴 유학생활을 마치고, 한국에 돌아온지 벌써 1년 반개월....... 난 의식적으로 든 무의식적으로 든 그 때를 회상하려 들지 않는다.
바빠서 그 럴 틈이 없었던것도 이유다. 하지만 그 보다 가슴이 왠지 아파오기 때문이다. 난 스스로 미쳤다싶을 만큼 의 사랑을 한차레 치렀고,또 실패했다. 인종 차별도 나름대로 견디기 힘든 스트레스였으며,벅찬 학업과,항상 마음을 졸여야했던 가난도 내 아픔의 이유들이다.이 아픔들은 지금도 아련히 기억이 되살라나서 눈물이 나오게 만든다. 조금도 즐거웠던 일이 기억나지 않는 나에게 그 시절은 단지 참고 견뎌내야만하는 산행이었는지 모른다.
산행이 벅차서였을까?아니면 떡 버티고 있는 모습에 기가 질려서였을까..산행이 끝나는 그 순간까지 내가 기억하는 건 -헉헉-숨가빠하는 소리뿐이다.
난 과정보다 결과가 중요햇던 것이다.그래서 과정들을 즐기지 못했다.
지금도 난 과정보다 결과를 중요시하긴 한다.하지만 이젠 과정을 즐길만큼 여유도 생겼고,여유롭게 즐기지 못한 것이 한이되선지 많이도 뺀질거리며 산다.
하여간 난 일본행 비행기를 탔고,그비행기에 홈지기도 타고 있었다.그렇게 우린 일본 생활을 시작하게 되었다.
홈지기는 자신의 집에 이렇게 내 방을 만들어 주었다.
난 안다.
잠시 혼란해하는 나에게 힘을넣어 주고 싶은 것이다.
그래서 나는 이렇게 셋방을 얻었다.
월세도 안낸다.만고땡이다.
앞으로 무슨 이야기로 손님들을 맞이할지 아직 계획은 없다.
요 몇줄을 쓰는 데도 벌써 몇 시간이 걸렸는지 모른다.
만만치 않을 것 같다.

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That's the price for those who own cross-country ski equipment and enjoy ungroomed trails. Those who want the safeguards of a ski patrol, and prefer not to break through snowdrifts themselves, will find that trail passes at dedicated cross-country resorts and parks cost just $10 to $20 (sometimes less; a day's rental of equipment will be about $25). It was the Von Trapp family (yes, those perky, anti-Nazi songsters portrayed in "The Sound of Music") who brought a more formal version of the sport to North America in 1968 by adding cross-country trails to their already established ski lodge in Stowe. Therefore, I headed to the Trapp Lodge for my first lesson and lucked out. Deciding heap monster beats by dre headphones to forgo a private session (it cost $70), I picked the group lesson (just $20), and since I was the only one who did that day, got a private lesson by default.

My teacher was a dapper 60-something gentleman named Larry who was in better shape than me. Not surprising: cross-country skiing is a powerhouse among aerobic activities, working every muscle group and burning an impressive 650 calories per hour. (By comparison, jogging burns an average of 450, and downhill skiing 520.)

During our hour together, I learned how to herringbone (walk uphill by creating large V shapes with my skis), use my poles, glide rather than stride, get up from a fall and head downhill. On that last lesson, I also learned that cross-country skiing has more than its fair share of adrenaline, due to the fact that cross-country skis are much thinner and lighter than downhill skis, giving the schusser less control. Gentle slopes assumed the aspect of double-diamond runs for me, as I carefully snow-ploughed my way down (and I'm a fairly experienced downhill skier). Larry proudly noted that because of the tricky equipment, cross-country skiing ultimately takes more technique than downhill.

I ended up enjoying my lesson so much, I stayed on the trails by myself for another two hours. And went out again the next day, 50 Cent Headphones and the day after that at the Stowe Mountain Cross-Country ski area. A hidden perk of cross-country skiing: You don't get cold! I'd always dreaded frigid lifts and wind-whipped slopes, but with cross-country skiing, the body is always in motion and the trails often head through sheltering forests. I ended up opening my coat and ditching my hat to keep from overheating!
2013/04/27
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