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친구들의 행진
그 동안 알고 지내던 친구들이나 후배들의 씩씩한 행진들이 계속되고 있는 요즘이다.

디자이너로서 인정받고 백화점에 입점하게 된 잘 알고 지내던 유학 시절 후배도 그렇고,
스튜어디스를 하다가 숍 호스트로 거액의 연봉을 받고 다니는 대학 시절 후배도 그렇고,
일본 알타 매장을 인수한 동기도 그렇고,
연봉 1,2억을 받는 나의 친한 대학동기도 그렇고
알게 모르게 다들 행진에 행진을 거듭하고 있다.

그에 반해서 나의 성장은 너무도 저조하고,불안하기 짝이 없다.

벌써 알게 모르게 벌어지기 시작한 거리를 보면서, 어떤 책에서 읽은 구절을 일부러 여러번 되뇌이며 위로를 하곤 한다.
벗꽃은 봄에피고, 국화는 가을에 핀다는 내용인데, 언제 피었는지는 중요하지 않으며.자신의 진보가 늦더라도 조바심 가지지말라는 내용이다.

오늘은 일본에서 알고지내던 친구와 통화를 하게 되었다.
노윤아라는 나름대로 친분이 있는 후배의 얘긴데,올 봄에 갤러리아 백화점에 자신의 브랜드가 입점한다는 소식이었다.
이 이슈는 모든 개인 디자이너의 소망이자 바램이다.
이 친구는 자신의 매장을 작게 차려서 진정한 디자이너의 길을 걷고 있었고,난 나의 개성이나 감성은 무시한 채 잘 팔리는 옷을 만들어내야하는 말하자면 기용 디자이너의 길을 걸어가고 있었다.
이런 재미없는 대량생산과 매출의 희비를 가슴졸이면서, 이 후배의 행진이 그리고 그의 숍이 너무나도 부러웠다.

나도 진정한 디자이너의 길을 걸어야하는 데라는 아쉬움을 애써 무시해가며, 점점 이 일에 회의를 느껴가던 차에 전해들은 후배의 행진은
충격이자 부러움이자 자극으로 다가왔다.

아 나는 진정으로 배를 곯아야할지도 모르는 ,이 위험한 길을 걸어서까지 진정한 디자이너로써 도전을 해봐야하는 것일까? 아니면 재미도 없는 이런 행진을 생계 때문에 계속해야하는 것일까?

국화는 봄에 피는 벗꽃을 시기하지않고, 묵묵히 자신의 때를 기다려가을에 꽃을 피우며, 한겨울에 피는 매화에게 아름다움을 양보한다.


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