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2002-05-22 01:59:08 |
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벌써 새벽 1시가 넘었네요.
빨리 자야 하는데...
수아는 얼마전부터 낯가리기를 시작했다.
뒤집고,기고,이제는 무릎과 팔꿈치로 기고,여기저기 살살 거리고 다니고,똥누는 회수도 늘고,먹는양도 늘고,왠지 밥을 줘도 먹을것 같다.
지난주 병원에 다녀올일이 있어서 내려가다,2층에 가는 어린 새댁이 "저희집에 두고 가세요.제가 봐 드릴께요.수아는 순한데 뭐..."하길래 좀 불안했지만,이게 왠 찬스냐싶어 얼른 맡기고 돌아섰다.전화도 없고 하길래 잘 노나부나 싶었는데,내가 나간 돌아오는 도중 전화가 걸려왔다'언니 빨리 오세요"였다.아니나 다를까 내가 돌아서고 나간 직후부터 울기 시작해서 내리 2시간을 울며불며 난리를 부렸단다.오죽하면 25살 어린새댁이 자기 젖을 물렸단다(그래서 더 울렸지만...).5층에 사는 아줌마까지 동원돼 둘이서 번갈아 가면 안고 달래고 있었다.물론 내가 오니,울음은 뚝,언제 그랬냐는듯이 방실방실.
금요일은 여기에 있는 한국사람들의 모임이 있었다.좁고 어두침침한 이자카야에서 사람들이 북적거려 놀란것도 있었겠지만,너도나도 안아볼려고 덤벼두는 아줌마,아저씨들이 영 내키지 않았나 보다.3시간 내내 눈물 콧물 범벅으로 울어대 할수 없이 수아랑 나는 아쉬운 술자리를 뒤로 하고,먼저 집으로 돌아와야했다.나도 한잔 더 댕기고 싶었는데...
그후로 수아는 사람들만 보면 울려고,얼굴을 구긴다.아빠도 영 마음에 안드는지,땡깡이 심해졌다.요또래에는 모두들 낯갈이가 시작된다고 한다.뭘까,아마,수아의 세계에서는 자신이랑 엄마랑,그리고,그 외의 다른사람들이란 세가지 부류의 인간만이 존재하는것 같다.조금 더 커가면서 조금씩,그외의 다른 사람들이 아빠,옆집아줌마,친구등등으로 구체적으로 분리되어가는가 부다.그것이 성장이라는 것이겠지.
오늘은 7월부터 수아가 다닐 보육원에 다녀왔다.수속을 마치기 위해서였다.0살반에는 고만 고만한 또래의 아이들이 6명이 있었고,보육사3명이 점심을 먹이고 있었다.한창 낯갈이를 하는 애들은 나를 보자,일제히 울어댔다.무안하게 시리...다들 처음2주정도는 내내 울기만 하고,엄청 고생한단다.아마 수아도 그런 과정을 거쳐서 새로운 환경에 적응해 나가겠지.원장선생님이 조금씩 맡기는 시간을 늘려가면서 적응시켜나가라고 하신다.물론 나는 최선을 다할것이다.수아가 빨리 새로운 환경에 흥미를 가지고,엄마 이외의 세상을 알아나가도록...
젖몸살이 체가시지 않은 가슴을 안고,나는 내일 한국으로 간다.수아랑 둘이서.
아직 한번도 고국의 땅을 밟지않은 수아에게 한국구경도 시키고,여기저기 인사도 하고,나도 좀 쉬고,필요한 책이랑 자료도 좀 구하고...이번에 시부모님이 계신 울릉도도 들어갔다와야할것 같다.8킬로가 훌쩍넘은 수아를 데리고,또 짐도 있고,혼자서 들어가는게 좀 부담스럽지만,기회는 자꾸오지 않으니까,좀 무리를 해서라도 다녀오려고 한다. 손꼽아 기다리는 사람들도 있고...아마,3,4주정도는 머울것 같지만,많은 이야기와 사진들이 모여지는 여행이 되었으면 한다.
물론 시간과 여력이 되는대로,이곳을 들릴테니,송아씨도 건강한 모습많이 올려주세요.아마,대구에서 당분간은 있을것 같네요.나 자러가요. |
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숙이..
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울릉도가 시댁이신가 보내요? 한 10여년 전에 친구들이랑 울릉도 여행갔던게 생각납니다. 그때 발찌하고 다니다가 거기 주민한테 혼난기억도 있고..
어쨌든.. 한국에서 좋은 여행이 되길 바랄께요.. | 2002-05-22 |
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숙이..
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참 저는 송아사촌언니 신영숙이라고 해요.. 제가 누군지 모르실텐데 그냥 글을 올려 버렸네요..ㅎㅎㅎ
안녕♤서울...의 주인이지요.. | 2002-05-22 |
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가나
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나영씨,오랫만에 한국에서 푹 쉬다가 오세요.맛있는 음식도 많이 먹고,약도 좀 지어 먹고,엄마가 그렇게 약골이면 안돼요.
시댁이 너무 멀어서 괜찮겠어요???......
아뭏든,몸조심하시고,재미있게 보내다 오세요.그건 그렇고,수아아빠가 힘들겠어요^^. | 2002-05-22 |
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